I was having a conversation today on how rejection is one of the greatest gifts one can receive. Why? Because rejection redirects us back to ourselves.

Since childhood, I have experienced rejection. My first experience was when my biological mother disappeared from my life at the age of 3. Although I don’t vividly recall this moment, the loss of my mother’s love was the first loss and rejection I experienced in love. Growing up, my father was not emotionally available and his parenting style was one of criticism, emotional and physical abuse so I experienced his rejection and loss of his love.

What developed in me was a clear longing for love coupled with the fear of rejection. If love came into my life, I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t lose it. What ended up happening was I became a master at rejecting the rejection because I feared the loss of love. This has translated into me ending, breaking up and walking away from ALL of the romantic relationships in my life.

Ironically, I ended up turning down the love I longed for. My rejection towards my romantic partners gave me a false sense of strength. I felt I had power and independence, that being alone and moving on with my life was easy without them even if that meant silently suffering for the perceived loss of love.

Today I remembered what this lesson of experiencing loss of love and of rejection has been teaching me all along. And it has nothing to do with anything or anyone outside of me.

In truth, rejection has been there to redirect me back to the most important relationship, to the love of my life = my Self.

I cannot lose love if I AM in love with me, I cannot experience abandonment if I have my Self. If my relationship with my own Self is of pure and true love, then there is no fear of loss or no refusal to be anticipated. 

Self-love encompasses a much deeper aspect of our being. It may start with accepting our quirks, our bodies, our life circumstances. But the onion has more layers than that – what is at the core if our being, the beliefs we formed during our childhoods require love too.

The experiences of rejection and fear of losing love reflected my inner state. I started questioning: Where am I rejecting my love for me? What parts of me haven’t I loved? Do I love my imperfections? Am I fully in love with me? Am I in love with my life? Have I loved ALL of me?

All our life experiences reflect what is acting in our consciousness. The gift of rejection has led me to be with me, to hold me, to see me, to hear me, to love me and to feel the love of my creator, the Divine Love of the Universe within and for me. It is only from this place where everything around me begins to shift. My life experience becomes one of receiving love without fear of losing it or of being rejected because I already have the love of the One that truly matters – ME.

In Loving Awareness,
Monica

If you are interested in going deep within your core beliefs to transform your life, I invite you to connect with me.

(On a side note – Interestingly, I chose a career path (recruiting) where I experienced rejection on a daily basis. Perhaps because it wasn’t in the area of love, I didn’t think anything of it until now. I see clearly now how the energy had been present even in my work. Our inner state of consciousness reflects in every aspect of the perceived outside world.)