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From external quests to inner wisdom—navigating a transformative journey of spiritual growth, self-discovery and consciousness evolution.
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Exploring and recognizing the journey I’ve experienced as a human on Earth is both humbling and awe-inspiring. My spiritual growth has been a journey of pain, suffering, trauma, patterns, and fear. A path of seeking, searching, reaching for and grasping on to anything that would lead me out of the darkness. Alcohol, money, partners, sports, fitness, books, healing methods and modalities – all I have pursued in search for love, for peace, a quest for answers.
As a child and a young girl, I remember a feeling of not belonging – the world did not make sense to me. I didn’t belong in my family, I was a foreigner in my school, I felt out of place amongst people and my small group of friends. A whole Universe of my own is where I found my peace – my inner world filled with so many loving thoughts and remembrance of Divinity.
Yet the escapes of the outer world were enticing and soon sucked me into their currents, leading me to become more of an outsider in my own land. The external “reality” became the target of my fixation, seeking elsewhere for answers to what I felt inside became a full time job way into my adulthood.
When I started seeking outside of myself for spirituality and the Divine, I read countless books on mysticism, religion, cultures, symbols, numerology, and tarot. I became a collector of crystals and card decks. I traveled searching for gurus and signs that I was getting closer. I was full of intellectual information, proud (actually) of the accumulation of knowledge I had.
In retrospect, I now see this as a preparation for what was to come.
A shift happened in my consciousness and I realized that everything I read and studied led me to the same exact place. This transition was subtle yet it felt at times as if I was dying and going crazy. At other times, I felt stuck and in between the brain and the heart, the logic and the feeling – not fully in one place and not in the other. One foot in, one foot out.
Slowly, I was losing my mind in the most beautiful way. Through this process of spiritual growth, I was shedding the layers of conditioning and finding my true self.
And one day I FELT it – with all my BEING that I had embodied the Truth of who I AM. I had lost my mind and found my heart. That feeling I had as a child returned with even more fervor and tenacity than ever before, showing me that the answers were never outside of me and I held the key within all along. I found mySelf and my Inner Wisdom became my guidance. The key, I discovered, lay not in thinking or rationalizing, but in FEELING the Truth in the depths of my heart, where authenticity and essence resonate unconditionally.
How beautiful to be on this journey and to have created a life that has given me the lessons and opportunities to return back to mySelf, to the Truth, to my I AM.
Looking back, with gratitude I see how all my studies and knowledge have prepared me to get to this realization. The sacred pillars of Love, Forgiveness, Non-Judgement, and Acceptance were the foundation I needed to see the Truth. The return to Self Love continues to expand and grow as the reality of non-duality becomes more and more apparent.
Conscious evolution, spiritual growth is a persistent desire of the I AM within ME and through ME.
And the path continues to unfold…
As you read these words, may you feel the gentle nudging of your own inner wisdom, whispering the truth that resides within you. If you find yourself on a quest for self-discovery, take a moment to pause, breathe, and turn inward. Enjoy the unique journey that is yours. Whether through meditation, self-reflection, or simply being present in the moment, start your own exploration. The answers you seek may be waiting patiently within the sanctuary of your heart.
In Loving Awareness,
Monica
If, along your journey, you desire guidance, a listening ear, or simply someone to share insights with, consider reaching out. I’m here to support and guide you on your path to self-discovery. Trust the process, and remember: the most profound adventure is the one that leads you back to yourself. Begin your journey with a single step, and let the path unfold before you. Feel free to connect with me, and together, we can explore the richness of your inner landscape.
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